So you’ve either made the decision to separate from your partner, agreed this would be best by way of a mutual decision, or have been told by your partner that they feel the relationship is at an end. What the heck do you do next? A quick google search will throw up countless pieces of information, blog posts, articles and general comments – how do you know what’s good advice and what isn’t? Well firstly there isn’t a right way…
There’s been a lot in the news recently about sky high fees paid by couples as part of particularly acrimonious court battles. As with all media reports about divorce they tend to relate to a minority of people – who are usually wealthy – rather than the majority of people who separate and divorce. But how much a divorce will cost you is one of the first questions that people want to know the answer to. It’s an important part…
One of the things that we sometimes see in clients in mediation is an ability to make decisions or to put forward ideas as to potential solutions. We recognise that when couples separate either party can feel paralysed by indecision. This is often caused by feeling that there is simply so many ‘new’ things to process that it’s hard to know what to prioritise. Feeling overwhelmed can often mean that people lose touch with that gut instinct that can help…
One of the questions that often crops up in the early stages of mediation is what financial information do I have to provide. The great thing about mediation is that the approach that is taken can be tailored to the clients in the process. In the court system everyone has to fill out the lengthy, cumbersome (and downright scary) Form E. It’s a 30 odd page form that takes a one size fits all approach to finances. For some people…
Recent years have seen a steady increase in the number of couples entering mediation. This is due in part to changes in the law, but also a greater awareness amongst members of the public about what mediation is. They find the idea of being in control of their own resolution appealing. They are also attracted by how quickly the process can work, and the cost savings that can be made. Lawyers too have seen the benefits of supporting clients in…
The media appears to have gone into a frenzy in the last 24 hours with the news that Angellina Jolie may have filed for divorce from Brad Pitt. The rumours as to what has caused this event are already plentiful. There seems to be an unspoken notion that somehow a celebrity couple divorcing is somehow a greater surprise than a non-famous couple separating. The reality is that couples separate every day and each one will have their own tale to…
Over the last 3 weeks there has been a documentary on BBC2 following various different family mediators in their work trying to help couples who’ve separated find resolutions to a range of issues. If you missed it then you can watch all three episodes on iplayer. As it’s a programme on mainstream TV it has not shown all of the mediations and it’s important to note this. Mediation sessions can vary in length but are averagely around 1.5 hours long…
How mediation and psychology can work together to help you deliver the best outcomes for your children after a separation Una Archer MBPsS is a child psychologist helping divorcing parents to soften the impact of their separation on their children. She works to help parents understand what they need to do so that their children feel just as loved, secure and comfortable in their own skin as they did before the separation – and sometimes even more so. Louisa Whitney…
A hot topic for non-mediation professionals, who are familiar with mediation, is often when is mediation not suitable. Our answer to this is that it is not suitable in very few cases. Some people are critical of mediators, saying that mediators argue that mediation is the answer to all disputes. This is of course not the case and there are circumstances in which mediation is definitely not appropriate (which we’ll come onto in a minute). However, we would draw a…
Don’t underestimate the role language can play in any dispute – and especially in disputes between separating couples. There are obvious examples of how language can inflame a situation such as the use of “my” children, in place of “our” children but there are other more subtle ways in which language can make or break an amicable separation. The language used can tell an important story of someone’s view on the separation and particularly the responsibility they take for…
