This got me thinking about whether those coming into mediation, or going through a separation generally, really understand the full range of things that can be talked about in mediation.  So the list below is of conversations that have been facilitated by me in mediation sessions.  It’s by no means exhaustive as there may be variations on themes and there may simply be conversations between separating couples that I have not yet come across.  You really can talk about anything in mediation that you feel is important to you as part of your separation.  This could be:

• How are we going to tell our children about our separation?
• What will that conversation look like (where, when, how, what will be the key messages and what will we do afterwards)
• How can we separate immediately? (this can be particularly useful where you both feel it’s toxic living in the same house)
• When we separate (or now that we have separated) when will our children be with mum and when will they be with dad?
• What will we do in school holidays?
• Where are each of us going to live?  How will we fund that?
• How will we be able to make ends meet?
• We don’t have enough money to fund two houses – how can we possibly separate?
• What do we do about our pets?  Will they stay with one person?  Can they go between our homes?
• We have a family business – do we both keep working in that going forwards?  How do we decide what value it has?
• Are we going to separate?  We’re not sure but we don’t want to start relationship counselling unless we know we will both try and currently we’re not able to have that conversation on our own.
• What are we going to do about our pensions?
• Should our children have one home and see the other parent or do they have two homes?  How will that work?
• I’m worried about our children.
• I have concerns about the other parent’s parenting.
• We are unable to communicate.  How can we change this?
• Does one of us or both of us need therapy?

As you can see simply saying you can talk about children or money doesn’t really cover the range or nuances of the different conversations that take place in mediation.  If you’re still not sure if the conversation you would like to have can take place in mediation then why not get in touch so that we can have a chat about it?  There’s no charge for a quick phone chat and it can help to understand your options before committing to anything.