However you found yourself here we’re glad that you did. Our mediators have many years experience of working with those going through a separation and we know that the last thing you feel right now is inspired. You might feel:
- Hurt
- Betrayed
- Guilty
- Angry
- Resentful
- Sorrowful
- Indignant
- Worried
- Anxious
- Overwhelmed
You might feel more than one of those emotions (or all of them!). When someone first tells you that they want to separate you may well feel shocked too – you may quite literally be in shock (in the same way you would be after an accident). Even some days, weeks or months down the line you can still feel ill equipped to sort things out or make decisions.
As you might expect we have lots of information and resources for those going through a separation but this page is not about that. This page is about getting you 3 things:
- A little bit of inspiration to keep you going
- Some TLC to help you look after yourself; and
- A bit of separation guidance for when you need it (you might not feel equipped for it right now).
One of the things we see regularly is that for those in the early days of a separation, right through to those who have been separated a little while, there is often no vision or comprehension of what life will be like in the next chapter, post separation. It’s like looking into a dark place where you can’t see anything.
For many people it feels like all hope is lost. That things will never be good again. That there is no joy or light in their future. That is a tough place to be.
As mediators we know that starting to visualise your post-separation life is a really important part of the process. Partly because hope keeps you going but also because you can only go on a journey when you have an idea where you want to go – how else can you know how to navigate to that place?
Part of starting to look at what your post-separation next chapter looks like is being able to plan what you’ll need for it. That enables you to make decisions about housing, savings, income, pensions and other such financial things. As well as making the all important decisions about how best to support your children going forward.
The vision often starts really small. Perhaps it’s a fleeting idea of something you will be able to do post-separation that you didn’t have time to do before, or the opportunity. Maybe you’ll be able to sign up for that thing you’ve always wanted to do when your children will be with your ex-partner. It’ll be a distraction for you. Maybe you’ll be able to study when your children are with your ex?
Or is there something about life with your ex that you really won’t miss? The snoring? The in laws? The nose picking? It catches you and for the first time in what feels like forever, you smile.
This is the start of your post-separation next chapter and what we hope to do is inspire you to grow that vision. To make it bigger, more beautiful and more comprehensive. In order to grow that vision you need a bit of inspiration and a bit of TLC. So we’ve set up 5 days of inspiration directly into your inbox to help you.
It will help you to make that vision bigger and understand what you want your next chapter to look like. There will also be practical links to information that you can look at now or save for when you feel more equipped.
If you’re ready to go all in on trying to visualise the next chapter of your life in a more positive way and to give yourself permission to have a good life after separation. then sign up below for 5 days of notes of love and inspiration coming your way.
