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Whose fault is it?

If you have only recently separated from your husband or wife, then you may be quite surprised to find out how the divorce laws work in this country. Currently unless you have been separated from your husband or wife for 2 years (this can include living separate lives within the same house) then the only fact on which you can base your divorce is either the other person’s adultery, or their unreasonable behaviour. The unreasonable behaviour is a subjective test.…

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Leave your emotions at the door?

If  you have any experience of having solicitors resolve a separation with any degree of acrimony then you might be familiar with the following scenario:   Things are ticking along and you are both trying your hardest to keep your head above water in every day life, to manage the process of resolving matters and to look after your children who you know are not doing great following the separation.  It’s not easy but things are moving along, albeit not…

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What’s holding you back?

The benefits of mediation are huge.  That’s not to say that it is easy.  Often the things that we are most proud of are the hardest to achieve.  Sometimes people are held back from trying, or committing, to mediation.  In this blog we have tried to focus on the most common reasons why people say mediation isn’t for them.  We are also dispelling the myths to ensure that as many people as possible can reap the amazing benefits mediation can…

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Feeling the fear

When you first learn about mediation it can seem a scary option.  Being in the same room as a partner you have separated from can be the last thing you feel like doing.  Emotions can be very raw and you can wonder how you will contain all the feelings that are bubbling up within you.  It can also be difficult where you have been separated for some time.  You may have had very limited contact with each other – or…

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What happens if mediation is not successful?

It’s natural to feel concerned and a bit anxious about something new, and part of that is wondering what happens if mediation doesn’t help you to find a resolution.  The good news is that mediation does have a good success rate in helping couples to find a resolution that works for them and their family.  But if it’s not successful there are other avenues that you can try.  At our initial meeting the mediator will explain the different ways of…

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Are you brave enough to decide your future?

When you begin the process of mediation you may feel apprehensive and anxious.  You may wonder how compromise can ever be possible with someone who simply refuses to compromise.  You may wish to avoid taking directly because you feel hurt, rejected and downright angry.  It’s natural to feel like you want to run for cover rather than talking directly.   In many respects mediation is a brave and bold option.  It may feel much safer to get lawyers to write…

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Why is #mediationhour important?

Louisa Whitney, who started LKW Family Mediation in 2013, has recently been taking part in a mediation hour on twitter.  The purpose of this is to allow people to ask questions about mediation.  Why is this important?  There are three main reasons:   1.  Despite government and other advertising campaigns not enough people are aware that mediation is available to separating couples.  A number of people still believe that court is the only option for separating couples to resolve matters.…

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Debunking the myths: Summarising

In this next blog in our series looking at what happens in mediation, we are talking about summarising.  Often when a party has expressed a view the mediator will summarise what they have said.  The purpose of this repetition is two fold.  Firstly, it enables the mediator to check that they have understood correctly what has been expressed.  Secondly, it enables the other party to have another opportunity to hear what has been said.  Often when people are under pressure,…

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Debunking the myths: Exploring Options

There is still some mystery surrounding mediation, both amongst people who might attend mediation, and amongst some solicitors who refer clients to mediation.  In the first of a series of blogs examining what happens in mediation we are looking today at exploring options.   When somebody first makes an enquiry about mediation they may have some idea that mediation is to help separating couples talk about what they’re going to do but they often do not understand how the mediator…

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Two sides of the same thing

When couples embark upon mediation they are ultimately looking for a resolution.  They want to be able to find a set of arrangements that will enable each of them to move on.  It sounds like a fairly simple objective when you put it like that.  However, even deciding on the first thing to talk about, and what the priorities are can feel like a mountain to climb.   It is not unusual for couples trying to reach a resolution between…

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