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Articles around family mediation, advice on separation and divorce, and general guidance to help you through the difficult process

Debunking the myths: Exploring Options

There is still some mystery surrounding mediation, both amongst people who might attend mediation, and amongst some solicitors who refer clients to mediation.  In the first of a series of blogs examining what happens in mediation we are looking today at exploring options.   When somebody first makes an enquiry about mediation they may have some idea that mediation is to help separating couples talk about what they’re going to do but they often do not understand how the mediator…

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Two sides of the same thing

When couples embark upon mediation they are ultimately looking for a resolution.  They want to be able to find a set of arrangements that will enable each of them to move on.  It sounds like a fairly simple objective when you put it like that.  However, even deciding on the first thing to talk about, and what the priorities are can feel like a mountain to climb.   It is not unusual for couples trying to reach a resolution between…

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How do I get started in mediation?

What does family mediation involve? Many people may first decide to seek out a mediator because their solicitor has suggested mediation.  Or they may have read about mediation online, or been recommended to it by a friend.  They may have a general idea about what mediation involves.  For many people the first question is how do I get into mediation, or how do we start it.  In this blog we outline the 5 steps to get mediation started.  We hope…

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Using other experts in mediation

A separation or a divorce is never just a legal or a financial process.  It is an emotional and personal journey that has been often likened to a bereavement.  When you start in mediation the mediator will explain that other experts may be useful to empower and motivate you to find your tailor made resolution.  The experts can be people you make separate appointments to see, they can be people that will provide further reports, or they can co-mediate with…

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My partner doesn’t listen to me

When a couple decide to separate there can be a huge range of emotions that each has to deal with following that separation.  When the couple start mediation this can make it difficult to hear each other.  How often has somebody started a sentence with something that incenses you so much that you don’t listen to the next bit they say because you are too busy thinking about what you’re going to say next?   This can happen in the…

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We’ve separated. How long before we can sort everything out?

Divorce or separation can be a daunting time It can seem hugely daunting when you first take steps to look at what will happen following a separation or a divorce (or you may only be thinking of separating from your partner or spouse).    There is now a wealth of information on the internet on this subject which varies in its level of accuracy and helpfulness.  Much of it focusses on next steps and how to resolve financial issues rather…

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What happens in mediation?

The Family Law Protocol requires all solicitors advising clients about family law to go through their complete list of options with them – even if they don’t offer some of the options as a firm.  All clients seeking advice about a family law dispute should therefore have at least a basic understanding of mediation.  But often that is all it is.  You may have been told that mediation is an option, and you may have gathered that it involves talking…

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What do family law changes mean for you?

How do new family laws affect you? From today various changes in family law are coming in to force.  There has already been a great deal of change in recent times in family law with the removal of legal aid for most family matters – although it is important to note that legal aid is still widely available for mediation to resolve family matters.  The main three changes are:   1.  From today the Statement of Arrangements for Children form…

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I think my marriage is over

Is it really all over? For some people there can be a definite understanding that their marriage is over.  They may discover something and feel they can no longer trust their spouse, or they may simply know it is time to turn a new page.  For others it is not so clear cut.  There may be arguments.  There may be a breakdown in communication.  There may be a lack of mutual understanding.  But is that enough to mean it’s the…

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Are you ruled by your head or your heart?

Make mediation work for you How often have you heard the phrase “my head says this but my heart says that”.  Or people talking about whether they make decisions with their head or their heart.  They usually mean that they are either an emotion or instinct led decision maker, or more about the facts and the analysis.  Sometimes people are a bit of both, or sometimes they make decisions differently depending on what the decision is about e.g making decisions…

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