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Focusing on the children in a separation

In our list of tips to help parents minimise the effects of their separation on their children we have now reached tip three: making sure the arrangements are child centred.  As we have suggested before this might sound obvious but it’s important that your arrangements take into account the different needs your children have.   Talking to your children is key in this.  Sometimes parents worry about talking to their children following a separation:  they worry that they might say…

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Getting it right for the kids

This blog is the focus on the second tip for minimising the effects of your separation on your children.  It’s about finding a system that works for you, and, crucially, works for your children.  We often get asked what the ‘usual’ arrangements are for separating parents.  The truth is that there is no such thing.  There is no law, rule or specified time that each parent must spend with their children following a separation.  There are only arrangements that will…

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Communication, Communication, Communication (FB Live)

In this Facebook live we talk more following our blog about communication between separated parents and why it’s so important.  We look at why communication matters, and what to do when it really isn’t working.  We suggest ways you can acquire communication skills and make things better when talking to each other is providing difficult.  

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Communication, communication, communication

When you separate from a partner the thought of continuing to have a relationship with the other person may be something that causes you upset, discomfort or stress. But if you have children that is the reality of the situation. You will need to talk about any issues that crop up to do with their schooling, their health, their behaviour or anything else significant. It may also be important to your children that you are both able to attend ‘big’…

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Top 5 tips to help your children during your separation

In this blog we are sharing our top 5 tips for helping your children as much as possible during your separation.  This will be a series of blogs as we will then be blogging on each point in more detail in the next weeks.  There can be lots of questions when you separate about how to manage things to minimise the effect of your separation on your children, how to tell them about the separation, and how to deal with…

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Do you need a support team when you separate? (Video)

Do you need a support team when you separate or is one professional sufficient?  Louisa discusses this question and likens it to the old saying about needing a village to raise a child.  She talks about the costs of having a team and the benefits and what kind of professionals you may benefit from having during a separation.   https://youtu.be/L4gXpsTAs84

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What skills do you need as a family mediator?

We’re often told that we must be very patient to be a family mediator.  Patience may be one skill but there are others that we would suggest are far more important.  These are the skills that we identify as being crucial to family mediation and to helping couples to resolve family disputes:    Problem solving skills: often it is the logistics of making arrangements for children; or working out how both partners can be housed with the money they have…

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Do you need a divorce team when you separate?

In a recent blog talking about the rise and role of divorce coaches we talked about using them for support in coping with divorce and in mapping out life after separation and what that will look like for you.  Understandably when we start to talk to clients about bringing in other experts their immediate concern is the cost of paying a number of different professionals.  They often say to us that they don’t have much money and need to keep…

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Can family mediation work in unusual situations?

We feel we have addressed the question of how family mediation works and the benefits of using this process in cases where there are two separated partners.  We’ve also talked about involving children in child mediation, known as Child Inclusive Mediation.  But what happens where your family set up is more complicated than that?  Is family mediation still an option that can be used?   In looking at this blog we are thinking primarily about the following situations:    Step…

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