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They didn’t see the children that much anyway……….

Lots of the blog posts we put up come from conversations with clients or things we see a lot in family mediation.  We are always of the view that if one separating couple is struggling with someone then another separating couple may well be too and it would be helpful to put some guidance and support out there to help those coping with divorce and life after separation.  One of the things that we have seen quite a bit of…

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What’s new in 2019?

From the moment I set up LKW Family Mediation I have had an almost constant stream of ideas for things that would benefit clients and help with life after separation and coping with divorce.  I also wanted to assist other professionals to help clients too, and to understand more about family mediation.  The difficulty has always been having enough time to put together the structure for these ideas.  There is, after all, only one of me!  I have learnt during…

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Do you need therapy when you separate?

Talking about mental health issues is something that has been in the news a lot lately and this is important to help to reduce the stigma surrounding emotional and brain chemistry problems.  In mediation meetings we always like to know whether anyone has had counselling, whether they found it helpful, and whether they are open to trying this in the future.  If a couple are really stuck in mediation then some form of therapy can be really useful in helping…

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Why do people end up in court?

The family justice system is struggling with the number of people using the court system, a lack of judges, the demands on support services like CAFCASS and the unreasonable demands that many of those using the system have.  This means that by the time you have got to the first hearing in your application you could often have had at least two mediation meetings, or made a significant start on another dispute resolution process.  Couple this with the fact that…

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Arrangements for Children: Review and take stock

We have recently been doing a series of blogs focusing on how you can minimise the effects of your separation on your children.  Tip number 5 was to review the arrangements that you have made.  We suggest that you check in with each other regularly (say every 3 to 6 months depending on how long you think the arrangements need to run before you know if they’re working or not).  You can then talk about what you think is working…

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Stopping things turning nasty

When you separate from a partner there can be a whole myriad of emotions.  Anger, resentment and fear are common and it is sometimes from a place seeped with these emotions that each party reacts.  When you react from a place of anger or fear you can often be seen as being aggressive or threatening.  A defensive reaction is often one designed to launch a preemptive attack and to wound before you are wound-ed.  Our brains are complicated machines but…

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Focusing on the children in a separation

In our list of tips to help parents minimise the effects of their separation on their children we have now reached tip three: making sure the arrangements are child centred.  As we have suggested before this might sound obvious but it’s important that your arrangements take into account the different needs your children have.   Talking to your children is key in this.  Sometimes parents worry about talking to their children following a separation:  they worry that they might say…

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Getting it right for the kids

This blog is the focus on the second tip for minimising the effects of your separation on your children.  It’s about finding a system that works for you, and, crucially, works for your children.  We often get asked what the ‘usual’ arrangements are for separating parents.  The truth is that there is no such thing.  There is no law, rule or specified time that each parent must spend with their children following a separation.  There are only arrangements that will…

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Communication, Communication, Communication (FB Live)

In this Facebook live we talk more following our blog about communication between separated parents and why it’s so important.  We look at why communication matters, and what to do when it really isn’t working.  We suggest ways you can acquire communication skills and make things better when talking to each other is providing difficult.  

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Communication, communication, communication

When you separate from a partner the thought of continuing to have a relationship with the other person may be something that causes you upset, discomfort or stress. But if you have children that is the reality of the situation. You will need to talk about any issues that crop up to do with their schooling, their health, their behaviour or anything else significant. It may also be important to your children that you are both able to attend ‘big’…

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