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Introducing a new partner

One of the questions that crops up regularly in conversations with separating parents – both in mediation and outside the process – is the topic of introducing new partners. This can be a tricky subject and it’s challenging to balance the needs of the different people involved. Here are 10 top tips for anyone wanting support and guidance on managing this issue in the most loving and constructive way possible. If you’re a separated parent then you need to be…

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The 4 Cs of effective communication

Louisa Whitney writes: You might have seen me talking on social media about the 4 Cs of effective communication and I thought it would help to write a blog about them in more detail. They are the four fundamental pillars of communication. They’re fundamental because as with table legs you need all the legs for the table to stand securely and not fall over. The same is true of good and productive communication. Before I explain more I just wanted…

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Can a bad marriage cause depression?

What is it they say? The three most stressful things in life are losing a loved one, divorce and moving?  That sounds about right and, having worked in the world of family law for many years now, I have seen that going through a divorce can indeed be stressful and sometimes this can lead to depression.  But what about staying in a bad marriage?  Can this cause depression?  I’m not a medical professional (watching countless hours of Greys Anatomy doesn’t…

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Supporting your child after separation

Listening is key. Parenting children is hard.  That is just a fact.  Parenting when you are going through a separation and no longer live with the other parent – well, that’s even harder.  Looking after your own needs will be essential but usually the first thought that enters a parent’s mind when they are going through a separation is, how can I support my child?  Talking to your child or children (crucially without blaming your ex-partner) about what is going…

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Domestic abuse

Louisa Whitney is an accredited family mediator and child inclusive mediator at LKW Family Mediation.  She practised as a lawyer specialising in family law for 12 years before realising that mediation felt like a more constructive way of working with separating couples.  In 2013 she set up LKW Family Mediation.  Louisa is also a Professional Practising Consultant training and supervising other mediators.  She also offers training for other family law professionals.  In 2021 she was shortlisted for Family Law Commentator…

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I’m worried about family mediation

Tips for those worries about attending mediation from Emma Ingham Even though I love being a family mediator and the work that I do, I can appreciate that most of my clients will not be looking forward to coming to see me.  In fact, 9 times out of 10, when I ask my clients how they are feeling about their first joint mediation meeting, they will say they feel nervous and anxious.  Their stomachs are in knots.  They’ve had sleepless…

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Family Mediation week: why bother?

Today (Monday 17th January) marks the start of Family Mediation Week. This is an annual initiative when mediators come together to explain more about family mediation and how it can help couples who are separating, or who have separated. There is a different focus each day to look at mediation from different angles and there are many resources being shared along with a variety of events. You can view the full program of events to see what might be useful…

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Reflections on 2021

Louisa Whitney writes…… Somewhat incredibly we have now hit December 2021, and my thoughts have been turning to closing this year. There’s a practise that I like to undertake whereby I look at what from 2021 I would like to take into 2022, and what I would like to (very firmly in some places) leave in 2021. I do this every year and it helps me to create a focus for the year and to draw a line under the…

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Feeling daunted by finances in your separation?

If you are going through a divorce and you were not particularly involved in financial decisions or aware of your finances during your marriage, getting to grips with that part of your life going forwards can feel a daunting task.  In order to finalise your divorce proceedings, it is best practice to conclude the financial side of your separation as well.  You will therefore need to go through the process of financial disclosure.  If you choose to discuss finances in…

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How to divorce if you didn’t want the separation

Dealing with the breakdown of a relationship can be heart breaking at the best of times but if you are going through a divorce and you didn’t want to separate, it can be overwhelming.  If this sounds familiar, here are a few ways mediation can help; Give yourself time – In mediation, you will never feel rushed into making any decisions or changes until you feel ready.  It is your process and mediation will proceed at a pace both parties…

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