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The art of staying calm (5 top tips)

This blog post gives tips on how to remain calm – especially in circumstances where you may feel you are far from calm.  You may be feeling a variety of different emotions: anger, panic, anxiety, sadness, helplessness, disempowerment, mistrust, fear and guilt to name but a few. Why do I need to stay calm? You may be wondering what the benefit is of staying calm.  Especially during the anger phase of the recovery cycle following a separation, you may feel…

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A new beginning for divorcing couples?

It’s fair to say that COVID-19 has brought with it a fair number of changes for people and many people have had to adapt to new ways of working almost overnight.  Some have had to adjust to being furloughed, some to home schooling whilst homeworking, others to going out to work in a job that suddenly feels a lot more high risk and high pressured (and may have felt pretty high risk and high pressured before this!). For the purposes…

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But my ex won’t……..

One of the things you hear as a mediator is something that sounds like one of the following: My ex won’t come to mediation My ex won’t co-operate My ex isn’t listening to me I don’t think he/she/they will……… We don’t communicate We can’t communicate Is that you? From a mediator’s perspective there can be a multitude of reasons for this and many of them are not permanent but temporary issues.  Since it’s something that crops up a lot it…

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Online Child Inclusive Mediation (a conversation)

This blog started after a conversation between Louisa Whitney and Jo O’Sullivan and was borne out of a simple conversation about something that is an underused tool in resolving issues between parents.  Both Jo and myself are passionate about minimising the effects on children of their parents’ separation, and about giving them a voice in this process wherever possible.  If you’d like more information about our Child Inclusive Mediation services than please have a look at the page.  You can…

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Compromise: But which one?

If you haven’t seen the blog about Pushing your Buttons then I recommend you have a look as it helps to understand what can be the most difficult part of resolving issues for many separating couples.  From my perspective as a family mediator two of the most common barriers I see to resolving issues are the fact that the couple pushes each other’s buttons so much they can’t get near constructive discussions about what options could look like; and secondly…

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Pushing your buttons

If you follow me on social media then you might have seen me talking a lot lately about what might be pushing your buttons.  This is for a number of reasons: I believe it is the nub of many disputes to understand and unpick this. I think given the current situation with coronavirus buttons are being pressed a lot at the moment.  Partly because we are on edge anyway, but also because if you’re living in the same house as…

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The ultimate free blog post about free separation help

        I have had so many conversations with people recently who want to sort out issues that arise from their separation, but feel that they simply cannot commit to paying anything for mediators, lawyers, or other professional services at the current times.  It is often the case that budgets are constrained during a separation.  You just about made ends meet in one house, how on earth will you stretch what you have to provide two homes? Such…

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Steadying yourself when you wobble during separation and divorce

   Steadying yourself when you wobble during separation and divorce   A guest blog by Danielle Barbereau (BA, MA, MAC) Professional coach, providing emotional support to clients during divorce and separation Mob: 07860 801693 | Web: www.danielleb.co.uk | Twitter: @CoachingDB   The coronavirus lockdown, a time of great uncertainty, may lead us to re-evaluate our lives: how we live and work, our values, and of course our relationships. Now is probably not the best time to make major decisions on…

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Child Inclusive Mediation (a blog)

When I first used to ask clients contacting me for the first time if they knew what mediation was about then there was often a “not really”. Now I find clients making contact are aware of what mediation is, and have either made an independent decision that it is the right way forward for them, or have had a lawyer direct them towards mediation.  Yet there is still not much known about child inclusive mediation which can be such a…

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Co-parenting through Coronavirus

Never has a period of time brought forth such use of the word “unprecedented”.  The use is of course justified as these are times for which there simply is no road map or blueprint.  Lockdown is a situation that was only put in place previously during airstrikes during World War II.  Even then the situation was not entirely the same.  I have already written guidance for those self-isolating in a house with a partner they’re separating from.  I now want…

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