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Articles around family mediation, advice on separation and divorce, and general guidance to help you through the difficult process

Why do people end up in court?

The family justice system is struggling with the number of people using the court system, a lack of judges, the demands on support services like CAFCASS and the unreasonable demands that many of those using the system have.  This means that by the time you have got to the first hearing in your application you could often have had at least two mediation meetings, or made a significant start on another dispute resolution process.  Couple this with the fact that…

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Arrangements for Children: Review and take stock

We have recently been doing a series of blogs focusing on how you can minimise the effects of your separation on your children.  Tip number 5 was to review the arrangements that you have made.  We suggest that you check in with each other regularly (say every 3 to 6 months depending on how long you think the arrangements need to run before you know if they’re working or not).  You can then talk about what you think is working…

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Stopping things turning nasty

When you separate from a partner there can be a whole myriad of emotions.  Anger, resentment and fear are common and it is sometimes from a place seeped with these emotions that each party reacts.  When you react from a place of anger or fear you can often be seen as being aggressive or threatening.  A defensive reaction is often one designed to launch a preemptive attack and to wound before you are wound-ed.  Our brains are complicated machines but…

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Focusing on the children in a separation

In our list of tips to help parents minimise the effects of their separation on their children we have now reached tip three: making sure the arrangements are child centred.  As we have suggested before this might sound obvious but it’s important that your arrangements take into account the different needs your children have.   Talking to your children is key in this.  Sometimes parents worry about talking to their children following a separation:  they worry that they might say…

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Getting it right for the kids

This blog is the focus on the second tip for minimising the effects of your separation on your children.  It’s about finding a system that works for you, and, crucially, works for your children.  We often get asked what the ‘usual’ arrangements are for separating parents.  The truth is that there is no such thing.  There is no law, rule or specified time that each parent must spend with their children following a separation.  There are only arrangements that will…

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Communication, communication, communication

When you separate from a partner the thought of continuing to have a relationship with the other person may be something that causes you upset, discomfort or stress. But if you have children that is the reality of the situation. You will need to talk about any issues that crop up to do with their schooling, their health, their behaviour or anything else significant. It may also be important to your children that you are both able to attend ‘big’…

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Top 5 tips to help your children during your separation

In this blog we are sharing our top 5 tips for helping your children as much as possible during your separation.  This will be a series of blogs as we will then be blogging on each point in more detail in the next weeks.  There can be lots of questions when you separate about how to manage things to minimise the effect of your separation on your children, how to tell them about the separation, and how to deal with…

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Do you need a support team when you separate? (Video)

Do you need a support team when you separate or is one professional sufficient?  Louisa discusses this question and likens it to the old saying about needing a village to raise a child.  She talks about the costs of having a team and the benefits and what kind of professionals you may benefit from having during a separation.   https://youtu.be/L4gXpsTAs84

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What skills do you need as a family mediator?

We’re often told that we must be very patient to be a family mediator.  Patience may be one skill but there are others that we would suggest are far more important.  These are the skills that we identify as being crucial to family mediation and to helping couples to resolve family disputes:    Problem solving skills: often it is the logistics of making arrangements for children; or working out how both partners can be housed with the money they have…

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