Looking after the children during family break up, separation and divorce
This video was put together by Louisa Whitney from LKW Family Mediation and Una Archer, a psychologist, from Parenting after Separation. Parenting after separation can feel very busy. You may find yourself carrying more responsibility for your child, whilst learning to navigate the co-parenting relationship. Una and I put our heads together to hopefully help you simplify things a bit, let go of things that are not essential and make more space for what is important for you.…
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This is the last in our series of blogs looking at Keeping Children out of Conflict. If you haven’t looked at them yet then you can explore what it really means not to argue in front of the children, what to do when you’re not on the same page, and how can you know what your children are really feeling. In this blog post we are looking at what the benefits are of getting it mostly right. We say mostly…
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This is our third in our series of blogs focusing on keeping children out of conflict. We have already talked about what it means not to argue in front of your children, and what to do when you really aren’t on the same page In this blog we are talking about how can you know how your children really feel? When we first meet with a client one of the questions we ask fairly early on is whether they’ve noticed…
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This is the second in our series of blogs on Keeping Children out of Conflict. Our first blog explained what it really means not to argue in front of them. In this blog we will be looking at what to do when you feel like you and your partner are not on the same page about anything. An issue we alluded to in our first blog. It can be really difficult when you feel like you and your partner cannot…
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If you ask those not currently in the difficult swamp of having relationship issues then they may find the idea of not arguing in front of children a more simple concept. For those who are finding each day with their partner difficult, or waiting for the right time to break the news that they want out – or on the other side of that conversation, it can be a minefield. The ideal dream of keeping the tension away from the…
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This is a topic that comes up in family mediation from time to time. We sometimes see a couple who recognise that their relationship is not working well and one has taken the decision to end it but the other felt they should have stayed together until the children left home so as not to ‘break up the family’. This is such a huge decision and one no one takes lightly. So how can you make this decision and is…
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This is a particularly leading question for some of the people that come to us for family mediation. How on earth can a divorce ever be good we can hear people saying. Well sometimes both parties accept that the relationship has reached the end of the road and that it needs to end and they want to do it as amicably as possible in order to make life after separation characterised by a positive and respectful relationship. This is of…
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When you separate from a partner there can be a whole myriad of emotions. Anger, resentment and fear are common and it is sometimes from a place seeped with these emotions that each party reacts. When you react from a place of anger or fear you can often be seen as being aggressive or threatening. A defensive reaction is often one designed to launch a preemptive attack and to wound before you are wound-ed. Our brains are complicated machines but…
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In our list of tips to help parents minimise the effects of their separation on their children we have now reached tip three: making sure the arrangements are child centred. As we have suggested before this might sound obvious but it’s important that your arrangements take into account the different needs your children have. Talking to your children is key in this. Sometimes parents worry about talking to their children following a separation: they worry that they might say…
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This blog is the focus on the second tip for minimising the effects of your separation on your children. It’s about finding a system that works for you, and, crucially, works for your children. We often get asked what the ‘usual’ arrangements are for separating parents. The truth is that there is no such thing. There is no law, rule or specified time that each parent must spend with their children following a separation. There are only arrangements that will…
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