If you’re going through a separation or a divorce and have been looking for information online then you may have come across divorce coaches.  You may be wondering what they do or whether they can help you to get through a divorce.  Coaching seems to be an increasing trend in recent years and you may be wondering whether divorce coaching is just a step too far and what it’s all about.

 

We’re often talking about the importance of accessing the right help to enable you to cope with a divorce and we believe that divorce recovery is a whole lot easier if you get the right help from the right people at the right time.  It’s part of the reason we are members of Surrey Divorce Solutions which offers fixed fee packages to couples going through a separation which encompass the work of a number of professionals who work with separating couples.  So many different issues can crop up as part of a separation and these can be financial, emotional, logistical or even legal.  Not being able to see your way past an issue can often see both parties become entrenched in their viewpoints and can be responsible for the souring of an otherwise amicable relationship. Having a tricky issue can see a problem become a big family dispute very quickly.  Getting the right help from the right professional helps you feel you are moving forward with issues and can help stop you getting stuck.  We all know the difference between feeling like you have a plan and are moving forward with an issue and feeling stuck and directionless and like things will never get any better.  We believe that how you get on with your life after divorce is dramatically influenced by the way that issues are resolved.

 

Which brings us back to the role of divorce coaches.  They are coaches who help you when you are going through a divorce.  The role of a coach is to act like a mentor to develop someone’s skills and to help them objectively assess where they are at and how to move forward.  A divorce coach can help with any of the following:

  1.  Practical help with finding out financial information and with completing your financial disclosure.  This can be invaluable if you feel you lack confidence in discussing financial issues or where you were not responsible for any part of the household finances during the marriage.
  2. Helping you to visualise what your life will look like after the divorce.  This is an essential part of life after divorce.  When you feel grief stricken by the loss of the life you thought you would have, having someone who can help you to look at what will be important to you in your new life.  They can also help you to address fear around living alone after divorce.  They can help you to put together a plan for the whole of your new life, or just parts of it.
  3. They can offer emotional support.  They are not counsellors and by using a coach you are not going into therapy.  The coach is offering you short term support during this difficult time and can be a good neutral sounding board to help you to make decisions about different aspects.  They are good at straddling the line between supporting you but also offering tough love and being clear about when you need to make decisions to move forward.  Friends and family who care about you may be inclined to be too tough or too soft because of their feelings for you and any views on what has taken place.
  4. Understanding what is happening and how the different processes work.  Coaches are usually cheaper than lawyers and having someone to explain to you what the different stages are and what you need to think about at this moment can help you with feeling overwhelmed by legal jargon or feeling that there is too much to do.  They can help you to break each step down into manageable chunks.

If you feel that you would benefit from exploring what help a divorce coach could give you then please get in touch with us so that we can point you in the right directions.  You can reach us by calling 01306 646690 or by emailing louisa@lkwfamilymediation.co.uk

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