This blog is a guest blog by divorce consultant Rhiannon Ford. Rhiannon is a divorce consultant and coach providing support and guidance to people before, during and after divorce. She is based in Walton on Thames in Surrey but works with clients all over the country and UK nationals living abroad.
If you have agreed to use the family law mediation process, hopefully you are feeling fairly optimistic that with the help of the family law mediator, you and your spouse will be able to reach an amicable agreement on the financial issues (and perhaps children issues if you are using mediation for children matters).
The mediator will have explained to you both that the only people at the mediation sessions are you, your spouse and the mediator. Neither solicitor will be present. The mediator is an independent professional in your case and cannot provide either of you with legal advice.
Here are 3 ways a divorce consultant can help during the mediation process:
Hands on practical help can involve assisting you to prepare your financial information ready for the discussions in the mediation sessions. Feeling prepared on a practical level will help you to feel more prepared on a personal level. Collecting the financial information can take some time and it is important to get everything together before you embark on the mediation process. This helps you save time and money on the mediation process as well putting you in the best position to begin the discussions as soon as possible.
Personal coaching support can help you to feel ready for the discussions with your spouse about your family finances (and/or children issues). I can help you to work through any challenging emotions which may be making you feel apprehensive about negotiating with your spouse and/or any concerns you may have about difficult emotions coming up unexpectedly during the mediation session itself. The coaching work we do together can assist you to feel as focused, calm and confident as possible, putting you in the best position possible for talking through the important issues in mediation.
As a sounding board
A divorce consultant can help you gather your thoughts about the negotiations as the process progresses and help you decide how you want to present your position in each session. I can also provide ongoing support throughout the process to help you prepare for each session as well as providing the opportunity to have a “de-brief” after each session to discuss the progress which was made in the negotiations. It is helpful to talk to someone who understands the process and can provide specialist support through the whole process. It is good to have a “go to” person to talk through things.
“Rhiannon was so organized, totally informed and reassuring, giving me the confidence to work through Mediation and ultimately come through it with dignity, but crucially with a future that I was able to negotiate with calmness and control. I am so grateful to her and would recommend her most highly.”
– HL from Middlesex
“Rhiannon was great in helping me to understand what mediation was about and how best to represent myself in the sessions. She was very clear yet sympathetic .”
– Mr BT from Ascot