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life after separation

Life after separation will be different

Finding the light at the end of the tunnel #4

This is the final part in our blog series looking at what positives there might be following a separation.  As we’ve highlighted those going through a separation don’t always see them immediately but it can simply help to know that there might be positives further down the line. The first blog was the introduction and talked about why positives are important, and especially right now during the pandemic.  The second blog talked about how there can be an improved relationship with…

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Finding the light after a separation #3

Welcome to this third part in the blog series looking at trying to find the light at the end of the tunnel following a separation.  We hope to highlight some positives that you may not have thought of to keep you going in the more difficult moments.  It can also be a part of the healing process to start to open up to the possibility that there can be some positives to your separation.  These might start really small (so…

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Finding the light after a separation #1

The other day I was thinking about new blog topics for February and it occurred to me that I always seem to look at the difficulties in separation.  There’s an obvious reason for this (well many really): There are many difficulties in divorce and separation It’s my job to help those going through it to navigate this tricky path So many issues arise from separating from a partner But I have also been mindful of how difficult people are finding…

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Thinking of separating: our top 5 tips

So this blog brings us to the end of our series on dealing with the immediate aftermath of a separation.  If you haven’t already seen the blogs then the first one set the scene and suggested some things to think about for those that weren’t sure they had yet made the decision to separate.  We then shared some tips on how to tell your partner you want a separation.  This is an enormously difficult conversation to have but doing it…

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But my ex won’t……..

One of the things you hear as a mediator is something that sounds like one of the following: My ex won’t come to mediation My ex won’t co-operate My ex isn’t listening to me I don’t think he/she/they will……… We don’t communicate We can’t communicate Is that you? From a mediator’s perspective there can be a multitude of reasons for this and many of them are not permanent but temporary issues.  Since it’s something that crops up a lot it…

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Online Child Inclusive Mediation (a conversation)

This blog started after a conversation between Louisa Whitney and Jo O’Sullivan and was borne out of a simple conversation about something that is an underused tool in resolving issues between parents.  Both Jo and myself are passionate about minimising the effects on children of their parents’ separation, and about giving them a voice in this process wherever possible.  If you’d like more information about our Child Inclusive Mediation services than please have a look at the page.  You can…

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Compromise: But which one?

If you haven’t seen the blog about Pushing your Buttons then I recommend you have a look as it helps to understand what can be the most difficult part of resolving issues for many separating couples.  From my perspective as a family mediator two of the most common barriers I see to resolving issues are the fact that the couple pushes each other’s buttons so much they can’t get near constructive discussions about what options could look like; and secondly…

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Pushing your buttons

If you follow me on social media then you might have seen me talking a lot lately about what might be pushing your buttons.  This is for a number of reasons: I believe it is the nub of many disputes to understand and unpick this. I think given the current situation with coronavirus buttons are being pressed a lot at the moment.  Partly because we are on edge anyway, but also because if you’re living in the same house as…

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Co-parenting through Coronavirus

Never has a period of time brought forth such use of the word “unprecedented”.  The use is of course justified as these are times for which there simply is no road map or blueprint.  Lockdown is a situation that was only put in place previously during airstrikes during World War II.  Even then the situation was not entirely the same.  I have already written guidance for those self-isolating in a house with a partner they’re separating from.  I now want…

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What can you talk about in mediation?

Recently I added a blog post aimed at giving more information to those thinking about mediation and collating various pieces of information that are contained across the extensive range of blogs on the LKW Family Mediation website This got me thinking about whether those coming into mediation, or going through a separation generally, really understand the full range of things that can be talked about in mediation.  So the list below is of conversations that have been facilitated by me…

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