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life after separation

Life after separation will be different

The Love Game

It occurred to me the other day that I’ve been blogging about divorce and mediation for over 10 years and I’ve never written about love writes Louisa Whitney. That struck me as being particularly strange given the work I do. It almost feels taboo to be talking about love when you talk about divorce as though you are breaching some unwritten rule. The simple truth is that when your partner tells you they want to separate, or you make the…

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Your first Christmas post separation

When couples who are going through a separation come to talk about how their children will spend their time for the first Christmas (or in fact any other special day or celebration) it can be a tough ask. It’s a special day and it’s likely you have always spent it with your children. So facing the thought of what to do can mean that one of you won’t see your children on this special day. This is tough and something…

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Why it’s important to be realistic on finances

It has never been more apparent than now that we all must be more aware of our finances writes Emma Ingham, and our financial situation.  The cost-of-living crisis that is so widely spoken about, and is affecting so many, is incredibly worrying.  For those who are going through a divorce or separation, times that worry by about, well, a million.  That is why, when discussing a financial settlement in mediation, your mediator will help you look at your finances in…

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Who gets the dog?

How can family mediation help with who gets the dog? Family Mediation is known for supporting couples with financial settlements writes Michelle Rumsey and childcare arrangements. As family mediators our roles are not isolated to only financial and children, we incorporate a wide range of other areas.  One area in particular that has increased over the years is the family dog and ‘Who gets the dog?’.  Dogs are part of the family and may people find the way the court…

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Family Mediation week: why bother?

Today (Monday 17th January) marks the start of Family Mediation Week. This is an annual initiative when mediators come together to explain more about family mediation and how it can help couples who are separating, or who have separated. There is a different focus each day to look at mediation from different angles and there are many resources being shared along with a variety of events. You can view the full program of events to see what might be useful…

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Finding the light at the end of the tunnel #4

This is the final part in our blog series looking at what positives there might be following a separation.  As we’ve highlighted those going through a separation don’t always see them immediately but it can simply help to know that there might be positives further down the line. The first blog was the introduction and talked about why positives are important, and especially right now during the pandemic.  The second blog talked about how there can be an improved relationship with…

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Finding the light after a separation #3

Welcome to this third part in the blog series looking at trying to find the light at the end of the tunnel following a separation.  We hope to highlight some positives that you may not have thought of to keep you going in the more difficult moments.  It can also be a part of the healing process to start to open up to the possibility that there can be some positives to your separation.  These might start really small (so…

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Finding the light after a separation #1

The other day I was thinking about new blog topics for February and it occurred to me that I always seem to look at the difficulties in separation.  There’s an obvious reason for this (well many really): There are many difficulties in divorce and separation It’s my job to help those going through it to navigate this tricky path So many issues arise from separating from a partner But I have also been mindful of how difficult people are finding…

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Thinking of separating: our top 5 tips

So this blog brings us to the end of our series on dealing with the immediate aftermath of a separation.  If you haven’t already seen the blogs then the first one set the scene and suggested some things to think about for those that weren’t sure they had yet made the decision to separate.  We then shared some tips on how to tell your partner you want a separation.  This is an enormously difficult conversation to have but doing it…

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But my ex won’t……..

One of the things you hear as a mediator is something that sounds like one of the following: My ex won’t come to mediation My ex won’t co-operate My ex isn’t listening to me I don’t think he/she/they will……… We don’t communicate We can’t communicate Is that you? From a mediator’s perspective there can be a multitude of reasons for this and many of them are not permanent but temporary issues.  Since it’s something that crops up a lot it…

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