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life after separation

Life after separation will be different

Divorce day tosh

If you’ve spent any time with family lawyers or mediators recently then I hope they have told you what utter nonsense the divorce day phenomena is.  The media love some kind of divorce scandal and the idea that everyone is suddenly making a beeline for lawyers after a bad Christmas is:   rubbish distasteful Not helpful to those sadly in this situation In this video Louisa shares some thoughts on why she hates this whole idea and why she feels…

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Tips for a peaceful separated Christmas

Christmas can be a really difficult time for separated parents. The first Christmas can be especially difficult as you adjust to the time when your children aren’t with you.  It can be doubly hard that there is a pressure to be having fun and to spend time with your family, and you aren’t able to do either. In this blog we have included 5 tips to try to make your festive season as a separated parent as painless as possible:…

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Children in a divorce

When you realise your relationship has broken down one of your immediate worries may be what effect the separation will have on your children. If your parents separated then this may bring up additional worries, as you may have had a negative experience of your parents’ separation. Or it may bring pressures to recreate the more peaceful separation your parents had when you were younger. It’s important to remember that your children can pick up on conflict between the two…

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Separation Guidance

When you first realise that your relationship has broken down there can often be a huge number of emotions that crop up. These might be: • Guilt, regret, doubt • Grief, anger, feeling bereft, sorrow • Fear, anxiety There may also be relief, and moments of joy or exhilaration,  for some woven into the mix. You may feel like you have a hundred questions in your head that you want to answer. Or you may feel that just getting up…

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Process focus: bringing them all together

This is the last in our series of blogs talking about processes.  If you’ve read our blogs on the divorce process, the process of sorting out money and on making arrangements for children then you’re probably wondering how on earth you bring it together, or how you do all that at the same time! Here are 5 things that we think are important: Don’t think you have to do it all at the same time. You can take things in…

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Process focus: sorting out arrangements for children

This is the third blog looking at the overview of processes.  We have already talked about divorce and money. In the last blog we also outlined the different processes that exist to help couples who are separating to resolve all the issues that crop up.  You can use the processes for any issue so it’s well worth having a look at the money blog to familiarize yourself with them.  We outline all the processes in our initial meeting so that…

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Process focus: sorting out money

This series of blogs is purely focused on processes to help provide a step by step guide to sorting out different issues. The first blog looked at divorce and now we’re looking at sort out money. Sorting out money issues can seem hugely complicated and many people feel utterly overwhelmed because they just don’t know where to start and how to tackle this huge issue. Essentially the process can be broken down into three main stages: 1. Information gathering and…

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Process focus: the divorce

In a new series of blogs we’re looking at more practicalities by doing an in depth focus on different processes that separating couples might use. In this blog we are talking about the divorce process.   To watch the video talking about this blog click on the video below.   Many people going through a separation or divorce get confused about this because for them the word divorce feels like it should encompass all of the issues that they feel…

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Practical children matters: do we have to agree on all parenting matters?

This is the last in our series of blogs talking about the practical side of arrangements for children. We have talked about what you need to sort out, whether children can cope with two homes, and how to have that difficult conversation with them about separation. In this blog we’re talking whether parents have to agree on all aspects of parenting. This is a tough subject for many separating parents. Often differences in parenting can have been a factor in…

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Practical children matters: how do we tell them we’re separating

This is the third blog looking at practical realities of making arrangements for children as part of a divorce or separation. You can also look at the blog looking at what arrangements you need to make and also a blog looking at whether children can cope with having two homes and two bedrooms. Another question we get asked is how do we tell our children we’re separating?  It is not unusual for couples to come into family mediation and use…

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