Life after separation will be different
We have recently been doing a series of blogs focusing on how you can minimise the effects of your separation on your children. Tip number 5 was to review the arrangements that you have made. We suggest that you check in with each other regularly (say every 3 to 6 months depending on how long you think the arrangements need to run before you know if they’re working or not). You can then talk about what you think is working…
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When you separate from a partner there can be a whole myriad of emotions. Anger, resentment and fear are common and it is sometimes from a place seeped with these emotions that each party reacts. When you react from a place of anger or fear you can often be seen as being aggressive or threatening. A defensive reaction is often one designed to launch a preemptive attack and to wound before you are wound-ed. Our brains are complicated machines but…
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In our list of tips to help parents minimise the effects of their separation on their children we have now reached tip three: making sure the arrangements are child centred. As we have suggested before this might sound obvious but it’s important that your arrangements take into account the different needs your children have. Talking to your children is key in this. Sometimes parents worry about talking to their children following a separation: they worry that they might say…
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This blog is the focus on the second tip for minimising the effects of your separation on your children. It’s about finding a system that works for you, and, crucially, works for your children. We often get asked what the ‘usual’ arrangements are for separating parents. The truth is that there is no such thing. There is no law, rule or specified time that each parent must spend with their children following a separation. There are only arrangements that will…
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In this Facebook live we talk more following our blog about communication between separated parents and why it’s so important. We look at why communication matters, and what to do when it really isn’t working. We suggest ways you can acquire communication skills and make things better when talking to each other is providing difficult.
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This Facebook Live follows on from our recent blog giving our top 5 tips for minimising the effects of your separation on your children. The video talks about each point in more detail.
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In this blog we are sharing our top 5 tips for helping your children as much as possible during your separation. This will be a series of blogs as we will then be blogging on each point in more detail in the next weeks. There can be lots of questions when you separate about how to manage things to minimise the effect of your separation on your children, how to tell them about the separation, and how to deal with…
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We’re often told that we must be very patient to be a family mediator. Patience may be one skill but there are others that we would suggest are far more important. These are the skills that we identify as being crucial to family mediation and to helping couples to resolve family disputes: Problem solving skills: often it is the logistics of making arrangements for children; or working out how both partners can be housed with the money they have…
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In a recent blog talking about the rise and role of divorce coaches we talked about using them for support in coping with divorce and in mapping out life after separation and what that will look like for you. Understandably when we start to talk to clients about bringing in other experts their immediate concern is the cost of paying a number of different professionals. They often say to us that they don’t have much money and need to keep…
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We feel we have addressed the question of how family mediation works and the benefits of using this process in cases where there are two separated partners. We’ve also talked about involving children in child mediation, known as Child Inclusive Mediation. But what happens where your family set up is more complicated than that? Is family mediation still an option that can be used? In looking at this blog we are thinking primarily about the following situations: Step…
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