The other day I was thinking about new blog topics for February and it occurred to me that I always seem to look at the difficulties in separation. There’s an obvious reason for this (well many really):
- There are many difficulties in divorce and separation
- It’s my job to help those going through it to navigate this tricky path
- So many issues arise from separating from a partner
But I have also been mindful of how difficult people are finding everyday life right now – even those not going through a separation. Not being able to see friends and family, home schooling your children, worrying about becoming or being ill, worrying about the financial effects on you of being furloughed, made redundant or not being able to work. All these things are challenging us in a way I think many of us have never felt challenged. Yes sure we have had tough times but there has never been a collective toughness like COVID in many of our lifetimes and the fact it’s tough for everyone brings with it some unpleasantness in itself. I’ve seen so many people sitting in judgement on others, despite knowing little about their lives. I’ve seen normally kind people display very little patience with each other. I’ve seen good and sensible people crack and say they simply can’t follow the rules any more.
Finding light at the end of the tunnel
There is no doubting that even before anyone going through a separation starts to deal with that there are many challenges in life already. So it occurred to me that it might be helpful for people to focus beyond where they are now. Beyond the drudgery, the misery and the worries to what life might be like on the other side of this. As this is a blog aimed at those going through a separation it seemed helpful to look at what might be unexpected upsides to divorce because, believe it or not, I have seen people eventually find light at the end of the tunnel and bonuses they didn’t know would be there.
It’s not an easy idea to get your head round. Particularly if the separation has been thrust upon you and you didn’t want it and especially if if is early days and you feel like you will never not feel sad, distraught, angry, guilty and a multitude of other strong emotions. But one day you might and it can help in these dark times to know that there might be light at the end of the tunnel and that that light might be beautiful sunlight.
So in this series of blogs I will be look at:
NEXT WEEK: how your relationship with your children can change following a separation – for the better.
15th FEBRUARY: how life could look different for you following a separation and how there may even be good parts (yes really).
22nd FEBRUARY: I’ll be giving you a bit of inspiration to keep you going if you’re feeling things are pretty tough right now.
Stay tuned for the blogs. In between the blogs if you’d like additional guidance then would our new FREE 30 minute video on better communication help you and your ex partner better manage your separation? Our clients often say that communication is one of the biggest issues – after all if you can talk about problems together you can usually resolve them.
We also have the online community Soulful Separation Support where you can get support from others going through a separation and professionals like us. It’s a closed community so only those in the group can see what’s said.
