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coping with divorce

Family mediation can help you cope with the divorce process

Your first Christmas post separation

When couples who are going through a separation come to talk about how their children will spend their time for the first Christmas (or in fact any other special day or celebration) it can be a tough ask. It’s a special day and it’s likely you have always spent it with your children. So facing the thought of what to do can mean that one of you won’t see your children on this special day. This is tough and something…

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Who gets the dog?

How can family mediation help with who gets the dog? Family Mediation is known for supporting couples with financial settlements writes Michelle Rumsey and childcare arrangements. As family mediators our roles are not isolated to only financial and children, we incorporate a wide range of other areas.  One area in particular that has increased over the years is the family dog and ‘Who gets the dog?’.  Dogs are part of the family and may people find the way the court…

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How to divorce if you didn’t want the separation

Dealing with the breakdown of a relationship can be heart breaking at the best of times but if you are going through a divorce and you didn’t want to separate, it can be overwhelming.  If this sounds familiar, here are a few ways mediation can help; Give yourself time – In mediation, you will never feel rushed into making any decisions or changes until you feel ready.  It is your process and mediation will proceed at a pace both parties…

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3 hidden benefits of family mediation

It’s a truth universally acknowledged (by family mediators anyway), that mediation has many benefits.  For example, it is widely accepted that family mediation is quicker, more cost effective and less acrimonious than going to court.  Here are three further benefits to family mediation that you might not have thought of: It is empowering You are in control when you come to mediation.  You can choose the mediator, someone you feel you can work with and trust.  You can choose the…

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Finding the light at the end of the tunnel #4

This is the final part in our blog series looking at what positives there might be following a separation.  As we’ve highlighted those going through a separation don’t always see them immediately but it can simply help to know that there might be positives further down the line. The first blog was the introduction and talked about why positives are important, and especially right now during the pandemic.  The second blog talked about how there can be an improved relationship with…

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Finding the light after a separation #3

Welcome to this third part in the blog series looking at trying to find the light at the end of the tunnel following a separation.  We hope to highlight some positives that you may not have thought of to keep you going in the more difficult moments.  It can also be a part of the healing process to start to open up to the possibility that there can be some positives to your separation.  These might start really small (so…

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Finding the light after a separation #1

The other day I was thinking about new blog topics for February and it occurred to me that I always seem to look at the difficulties in separation.  There’s an obvious reason for this (well many really): There are many difficulties in divorce and separation It’s my job to help those going through it to navigate this tricky path So many issues arise from separating from a partner But I have also been mindful of how difficult people are finding…

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Thinking of separating: our top 5 tips

So this blog brings us to the end of our series on dealing with the immediate aftermath of a separation.  If you haven’t already seen the blogs then the first one set the scene and suggested some things to think about for those that weren’t sure they had yet made the decision to separate.  We then shared some tips on how to tell your partner you want a separation.  This is an enormously difficult conversation to have but doing it…

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But my ex won’t……..

One of the things you hear as a mediator is something that sounds like one of the following: My ex won’t come to mediation My ex won’t co-operate My ex isn’t listening to me I don’t think he/she/they will……… We don’t communicate We can’t communicate Is that you? From a mediator’s perspective there can be a multitude of reasons for this and many of them are not permanent but temporary issues.  Since it’s something that crops up a lot it…

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Compromise: But which one?

If you haven’t seen the blog about Pushing your Buttons then I recommend you have a look as it helps to understand what can be the most difficult part of resolving issues for many separating couples.  From my perspective as a family mediator two of the most common barriers I see to resolving issues are the fact that the couple pushes each other’s buttons so much they can’t get near constructive discussions about what options could look like; and secondly…

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