Family mediation can help you cope with the divorce process
So this blog brings us to the end of our series on dealing with the immediate aftermath of a separation. If you haven’t already seen the blogs then the first one set the scene and suggested some things to think about for those that weren’t sure they had yet made the decision to separate. We then shared some tips on how to tell your partner you want a separation. This is an enormously difficult conversation to have but doing it…
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One of the things you hear as a mediator is something that sounds like one of the following: My ex won’t come to mediation My ex won’t co-operate My ex isn’t listening to me I don’t think he/she/they will……… We don’t communicate We can’t communicate Is that you? From a mediator’s perspective there can be a multitude of reasons for this and many of them are not permanent but temporary issues. Since it’s something that crops up a lot it…
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If you haven’t seen the blog about Pushing your Buttons then I recommend you have a look as it helps to understand what can be the most difficult part of resolving issues for many separating couples. From my perspective as a family mediator two of the most common barriers I see to resolving issues are the fact that the couple pushes each other’s buttons so much they can’t get near constructive discussions about what options could look like; and secondly…
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If you follow me on social media then you might have seen me talking a lot lately about what might be pushing your buttons. This is for a number of reasons: I believe it is the nub of many disputes to understand and unpick this. I think given the current situation with coronavirus buttons are being pressed a lot at the moment. Partly because we are on edge anyway, but also because if you’re living in the same house as…
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Never has a period of time brought forth such use of the word “unprecedented”. The use is of course justified as these are times for which there simply is no road map or blueprint. Lockdown is a situation that was only put in place previously during airstrikes during World War II. Even then the situation was not entirely the same. I have already written guidance for those self-isolating in a house with a partner they’re separating from. I now want…
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Recently I added a blog post aimed at giving more information to those thinking about mediation and collating various pieces of information that are contained across the extensive range of blogs on the LKW Family Mediation website This got me thinking about whether those coming into mediation, or going through a separation generally, really understand the full range of things that can be talked about in mediation. So the list below is of conversations that have been facilitated by me…
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This blog is a guest blog by divorce consultant Rhiannon Ford. Rhiannon is a divorce consultant and coach providing support and guidance to people before, during and after divorce. She is based in Walton on Thames in Surrey but works with clients all over the country and UK nationals living abroad. If you have agreed to use the family law mediation process, hopefully you are feeling fairly optimistic that with the help of the family law mediator, you and your spouse…
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We have recently been doing a series of blogs focusing on how you can minimise the effects of your separation on your children. Tip number 5 was to review the arrangements that you have made. We suggest that you check in with each other regularly (say every 3 to 6 months depending on how long you think the arrangements need to run before you know if they’re working or not). You can then talk about what you think is working…
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When you separate from a partner there can be a whole myriad of emotions. Anger, resentment and fear are common and it is sometimes from a place seeped with these emotions that each party reacts. When you react from a place of anger or fear you can often be seen as being aggressive or threatening. A defensive reaction is often one designed to launch a preemptive attack and to wound before you are wound-ed. Our brains are complicated machines but…
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In our list of tips to help parents minimise the effects of their separation on their children we have now reached tip three: making sure the arrangements are child centred. As we have suggested before this might sound obvious but it’s important that your arrangements take into account the different needs your children have. Talking to your children is key in this. Sometimes parents worry about talking to their children following a separation: they worry that they might say…
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