Going through divorce is painful and stressful. Couples often need mediation to help them see things clearer
This set of blogs is a return to the 4 part blog series to look at issues in more dept and to break issues down into manageable chunks for those feeling overwhelmed by issues relating to their separation. You can look at the first part of the blog talking about practical arrangements for preparing for mediation. You can also look at the second blog which invites you to consider how emotionally ready you are for family mediation. In…
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This set of blogs is a return to the 4 part blog series to look at issues in more dept and to break issues down into manageable chunks for those feeling overwhelmed by issues relating to their separation. You can look at the first part of the blog talking about practical arrangements for preparing for mediation. In this blog we will look at the emotional aspects of preparing for mediation. How emotionally ready do you feel for mediation? Do…
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I thought I would trial going back to 4 part blogs again. I did this previously and I take an issue and break it down into different parts. It enables me to look at things from more angles but it also means the blogs are shorter (in theory!). I’ve noticed my blog length creeping up lately and whilst I think that is helpful sometimes I am also conscious that for those going through a separation overwhelm can kick in quickly. …
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Have you ever gone to offload to a friend or family member and found yourself feeling annoyed by their apparently sympathetic response but not being sure quite why? Or perhaps you have put your finger on it and felt they simply wanted to offer you solutions but you wanted to talk about how upset you were? You knew what the solutions were, you just didn’t want to embrace them yet. A common difference between both partners in a couple…
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This blog post gives tips on how to remain calm – especially in circumstances where you may feel you are far from calm. You may be feeling a variety of different emotions: anger, panic, anxiety, sadness, helplessness, disempowerment, mistrust, fear and guilt to name but a few. Why do I need to stay calm? You may be wondering what the benefit is of staying calm. Especially during the anger phase of the recovery cycle following a separation, you may feel…
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It’s fair to say that COVID-19 has brought with it a fair number of changes for people and many people have had to adapt to new ways of working almost overnight. Some have had to adjust to being furloughed, some to home schooling whilst homeworking, others to going out to work in a job that suddenly feels a lot more high risk and high pressured (and may have felt pretty high risk and high pressured before this!). For the purposes…
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One of the things you hear as a mediator is something that sounds like one of the following: My ex won’t come to mediation My ex won’t co-operate My ex isn’t listening to me I don’t think he/she/they will……… We don’t communicate We can’t communicate Is that you? From a mediator’s perspective there can be a multitude of reasons for this and many of them are not permanent but temporary issues. Since it’s something that crops up a lot it…
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This blog started after a conversation between Louisa Whitney and Jo O’Sullivan and was borne out of a simple conversation about something that is an underused tool in resolving issues between parents. Both Jo and myself are passionate about minimising the effects on children of their parents’ separation, and about giving them a voice in this process wherever possible. If you’d like more information about our Child Inclusive Mediation services than please have a look at the page. You can…
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If you haven’t seen the blog about Pushing your Buttons then I recommend you have a look as it helps to understand what can be the most difficult part of resolving issues for many separating couples. From my perspective as a family mediator two of the most common barriers I see to resolving issues are the fact that the couple pushes each other’s buttons so much they can’t get near constructive discussions about what options could look like; and secondly…
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If you follow me on social media then you might have seen me talking a lot lately about what might be pushing your buttons. This is for a number of reasons: I believe it is the nub of many disputes to understand and unpick this. I think given the current situation with coronavirus buttons are being pressed a lot at the moment. Partly because we are on edge anyway, but also because if you’re living in the same house as…
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