Using a family mediator can help couples through a separation
This blog post gives tips on how to remain calm – especially in circumstances where you may feel you are far from calm. You may be feeling a variety of different emotions: anger, panic, anxiety, sadness, helplessness, disempowerment, mistrust, fear and guilt to name but a few. Why do I need to stay calm? You may be wondering what the benefit is of staying calm. Especially during the anger phase of the recovery cycle following a separation, you may feel…
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It’s fair to say that COVID-19 has brought with it a fair number of changes for people and many people have had to adapt to new ways of working almost overnight. Some have had to adjust to being furloughed, some to home schooling whilst homeworking, others to going out to work in a job that suddenly feels a lot more high risk and high pressured (and may have felt pretty high risk and high pressured before this!). For the purposes…
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One of the things you hear as a mediator is something that sounds like one of the following: My ex won’t come to mediation My ex won’t co-operate My ex isn’t listening to me I don’t think he/she/they will……… We don’t communicate We can’t communicate Is that you? From a mediator’s perspective there can be a multitude of reasons for this and many of them are not permanent but temporary issues. Since it’s something that crops up a lot it…
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This blog started after a conversation between Louisa Whitney and Jo O’Sullivan and was borne out of a simple conversation about something that is an underused tool in resolving issues between parents. Both Jo and myself are passionate about minimising the effects on children of their parents’ separation, and about giving them a voice in this process wherever possible. If you’d like more information about our Child Inclusive Mediation services than please have a look at the page. You can…
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If you haven’t seen the blog about Pushing your Buttons then I recommend you have a look as it helps to understand what can be the most difficult part of resolving issues for many separating couples. From my perspective as a family mediator two of the most common barriers I see to resolving issues are the fact that the couple pushes each other’s buttons so much they can’t get near constructive discussions about what options could look like; and secondly…
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If you follow me on social media then you might have seen me talking a lot lately about what might be pushing your buttons. This is for a number of reasons: I believe it is the nub of many disputes to understand and unpick this. I think given the current situation with coronavirus buttons are being pressed a lot at the moment. Partly because we are on edge anyway, but also because if you’re living in the same house as…
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Steadying yourself when you wobble during separation and divorce A guest blog by Danielle Barbereau (BA, MA, MAC) Professional coach, providing emotional support to clients during divorce and separation Mob: 07860 801693 | Web: www.danielleb.co.uk | Twitter: @CoachingDB The coronavirus lockdown, a time of great uncertainty, may lead us to re-evaluate our lives: how we live and work, our values, and of course our relationships. Now is probably not the best time to make major decisions on…
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When I first used to ask clients contacting me for the first time if they knew what mediation was about then there was often a “not really”. Now I find clients making contact are aware of what mediation is, and have either made an independent decision that it is the right way forward for them, or have had a lawyer direct them towards mediation. Yet there is still not much known about child inclusive mediation which can be such a…
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Separation: couples self isolating in the same house Well now here is a post that I didn’t think I would ever type. Even a few weeks ago could we have imagined the fact that large parts of the world would be not able to leave their houses? It is a challenging situation for many: concerns about the health implications; worries about reduced income or businesses going under. I appreciate all of that. One of my biggest concerns is for couples…
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I recently came across a really interesting article based on a survey looking at parents staying together for the sake of their children The survey was called out by Directline. Some parts of this survey really jumped out at me and I wanted to add some thoughts on them: I can see the generational difference in how long parents stayed together but even amongst younger parents it was still 3 years. Often in family mediation one of the things…
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