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children

Looking after the children during family break up, separation and divorce

Your first Christmas post separation

When couples who are going through a separation come to talk about how their children will spend their time for the first Christmas (or in fact any other special day or celebration) it can be a tough ask. It’s a special day and it’s likely you have always spent it with your children. So facing the thought of what to do can mean that one of you won’t see your children on this special day. This is tough and something…

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What the **** is the truth anyway?

If I had a pound for every time I’ve been asked to decide whose truth is the right one in a mediation session I would be a rich woman indeed (although a frustrated one who did not derive much job satisfaction). It is a subject that animates, frustrates and generates huge debate on an hourly basis. Whose truth is the right one? The problem with this premise as a starting point is that it look at things from their perspective…

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Would things be easier if your ex would only change?

Would things be easier if your ex would only change?  Why filing up your own cup may be more important.   In these challenging times where everyone is dealing with all that life brings with it, and COVID-19, Una Archer and I got to talking about the importance of looking after yourself and how filling up your own cup is the most important thing you can do for yourself, and for your relationships with other people.   We all know relationships…

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Online Child Inclusive Mediation (a conversation)

This blog started after a conversation between Louisa Whitney and Jo O’Sullivan and was borne out of a simple conversation about something that is an underused tool in resolving issues between parents.  Both Jo and myself are passionate about minimising the effects on children of their parents’ separation, and about giving them a voice in this process wherever possible.  If you’d like more information about our Child Inclusive Mediation services than please have a look at the page.  You can…

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Co-parenting through Coronavirus

Never has a period of time brought forth such use of the word “unprecedented”.  The use is of course justified as these are times for which there simply is no road map or blueprint.  Lockdown is a situation that was only put in place previously during airstrikes during World War II.  Even then the situation was not entirely the same.  I have already written guidance for those self-isolating in a house with a partner they’re separating from.  I now want…

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Should we stay together for the kids?

I recently came across a really interesting article based on a survey looking at parents staying together for the sake of their children The survey was called out by Directline.  Some parts of this survey really jumped out at me and I wanted to add some thoughts on them:   I can see the generational difference in how long parents stayed together but even amongst younger parents it was still 3 years.  Often in family mediation one of the things…

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What can you talk about in mediation?

Recently I added a blog post aimed at giving more information to those thinking about mediation and collating various pieces of information that are contained across the extensive range of blogs on the LKW Family Mediation website This got me thinking about whether those coming into mediation, or going through a separation generally, really understand the full range of things that can be talked about in mediation.  So the list below is of conversations that have been facilitated by me…

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Thinking about mediation?

I was asked a question the other day about family mediation and it occurred to me that I wasn’t sure there was a blog post with the information in.  I’m quite sure there is a wealth of information on this topic across the blog but I felt it might be helpful to have it in one place.  The question focused on two things: Do you have to be on the same page to try family mediation; and What do you…

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Keep children out of conflict

In a new series of that will coincide with Family Mediation week we’re giving some top tips. We really do know that those going through a separation struggle to process lots of information when they are feeling emotional and so breaking things down to a simple top 5 tips can be helpful. You may also find Get the most from a MIAMS helpful. In this blog we’re sharing our top 5 tips for keeping children out of conflict. Separating parents…

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Children in a divorce

When you realise your relationship has broken down one of your immediate worries may be what effect the separation will have on your children. If your parents separated then this may bring up additional worries, as you may have had a negative experience of your parents’ separation. Or it may bring pressures to recreate the more peaceful separation your parents had when you were younger. It’s important to remember that your children can pick up on conflict between the two…

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